Thinking.....

This one song means so much to me...well in know it's just a spring hazebut i don't much like the look of itand if omens are a god send like menbreezing incertain these clouds go somewherebillowing out to somewherein a single engine cessnayou say we'll never make it thereso all we do is circle ituh oh. let go. off on my wayunseen this eternal wantinguh oh. way to goso i get creamedwaiting on Sunday to drownuhoh. way to go.waiting on Sundaywaiting on Sunday to landuhoh. way to go.waiting on Sundaywaiting on Sunday to drownso i know it's just a spring hazebut i don't much like the look of itbut all we do is circle itand i found out where my edge isand it bleeds into where you resistand my only way out is to goso far inbillowing out to somewherebillowing out luna rivierabillowing out to somewhereuhoh. let go. off on my wayunseen this eternal wantinglet go. so far. really getting creamedwaiting on Sunday to landwaiting on Sunday to drownwhy does it always end up like thiswaiting on Sunday so i get creamedwaiting for Sunday to drown-Spring Haze-Tori AmosAlright, that aside...I don't really know what to feel right now, it's weird. You know the moment when you finally see someone for what they are? Well it happened to me this lovely Thanksgiving. It hasn't been 2 years since the big "explosion". Yet now it's happening again, but it seems this time it's ok. Ironic. I'm in awe that people don't realize their own actions. I'm in awe that what someone took great offense in not so long ago, becomes what they are. I'm in utter amazement that people can be that oblivious to their own lives...How can you live under guaze all the time? How can you believe yourself exempt from the burdens that you made me bare lil over a year ago?? Yep. You guessed it. The Golden Child strikes once again. After the NJ incident, I would think that there would be a line that had been drawn, it has taken me this long to even view her as slightly respectable, and not even that much so. Everything she ratted me out on...EVERYTHING, she in turn is now partaking in it. Now I could be her in this situation, I could totally snitch, but then what does that make me..That makes me the evil bitch I viewed her to be, that lowers me to a level I know I couldnt' stand myself for being on. I refuse to be her, I refuse to bow down to her..But then I stop and think, omg, how can I let her float on in life with everyone still believing she's the well behaved, intelligent one? How can I knowing what she's done to my family's view of me, go unscarred? This sucks. I'm not gonna cheese out and rat her out..that's not my style..but what I wouldn't give to see her get hers...I realize that sounds spiteful/nasty/vengeful..but really if you guys understood the hell that I went through with all this crap, I know you'd understand.Ahh well we'll see. So why does this song make me think so much..just lyrically, it's exactly what I'm goin through right now..not with the GoldenChild..but with "other" stuff hehe Oh well We'll see what goes down...